I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
