im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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