just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
