Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
