oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
