The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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