i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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