He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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