Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
