Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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