Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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