I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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