I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
