He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
