the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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