Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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