You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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