you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
