You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
