was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
