i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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