What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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