If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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