This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize