She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
