if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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