holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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