im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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