I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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