is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
