remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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