Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
