I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
