i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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