I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
