if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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