this boner is exhausting
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize