Someone shit on the floor
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
