Where did you get a picture of my penis
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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