He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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