Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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