Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
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She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
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I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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