You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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