so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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