I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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