He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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