Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
