Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
