Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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