she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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