Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
