these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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