I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
