my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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