I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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