guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
