Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
