are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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