theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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