My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
