Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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