As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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