Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
