Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
