I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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